Quick Update

D and I are back from the hospital now, although we'll be going back later.

Thank you guys for all your warm wishes for a speedy recovery, but it's just not going down like that. Predating last night, Grandma Erica has severe dementia (hate that word) and is deteriorating physically, rapidly. I won't go into it because when she was more with it, she was always very meticulous about her appearance and image. But basically if the doctors could return her to her condition as of Thursday morning, she would still not be with us mentally and she would still be very frail and deteriorating.

They had the results of more tests this morning. Grandma has an infection and they've identified two possible causes - fluid in the lungs and kidney blockage. Plus there's an intestinal blockage or something which is both a problem and a third possible cause. They can do an invasive procedure to fix the kidney thing and give antibiotics for the lung infection, but that's not 100% the causes of the infection. With all the stresses on her system she won't be back to Thursday morning even, and at that point it was still a waiting game.

My dad & uncle are her only children. Now that my dad got home this morning, and the doctors have run the tests to give them all the options and scenarios, my dad & uncle decided not to do the kidney procedure. If the procedure works and solves all the problems, it's still a matter of a week or two given the prior situation. On the other hand it's a really invasive procedure, not 100% sure to fix the problem, and might cause other problems.

As for the rest of the family... we're not hysterical types. Its been a gradual enough decline that it's not shocking, but everyone's really sad, especially my dad and my uncle. There's also a lot of regret that she won't be able to live to see her 1st grandchild get married a week from Sunday. We're all being really sensitive about that with my uncle and cousin, but there's not even a question that the wedding is going on and for once everyone agrees 100% that that's what to do.

I *can't* sit still and wait doing nothing, forget "it drives me crazy": I just can't do it. So I brought some 8" needles and cotton yarn to the hospital with me last night. 3 hours later I had finished this:

We had a little contest to see if anyone in the family could figure out what the motif is. So far nobody's guessed it right but they're all trying hard.

D and I came home to cook for Shabbos. We'll go back over there later. In the meantime I wanted to thank you all for your kind words and post an update.


Jennifer said...

I'm sorry things aren't going to end on a happy note - but it sounds like you're all pretty resigned to the fact that this is happening. And as hard of a decision it had to be to make, I think it was a good one not to pursue invasive measures like the kidney procedure. I just don't see the point in prolonging a life if they quality of that life is poor and not what the person would have wanted. Doesn't make it any easier though...

And I'm pretty sure I know what the motif is - a thistle?

Kendra said...

So sorry to hear about your Grandma. Thoughts/prayers are with you right now.


Janet said...

I'm realy sorry you are having such a sad time and your family is having to make these difficult decisions. Your Grandma is so lucky to have such a loving family who have her best interests at heart. I agree with not doing the invasive stuff. Big Hugs and keep us updated when you can.

tkdchick said...

I'll keep your Gran in my thoughts!

staci said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this difficult time. My grandma went through something similar, so my heart goes out to you.